My wonderful and dear Grandma passed away last week. Some things are just too personal to share, but I wanted to say a few things about her. When my mom called me at 7am on Tuesday morning, my first thought was, "Grandma," before I even picked up the phone.
She told me that she passed away and I felt relief and sadness at the same time. Grandma suffered with alzheimer's for the past several years and has not been herself. We have been watching her slowly slip away. Just after Christmas, my sister and her husband, and my family and I went to visit her in the nursing home with my Grandpa. As we talked to her she had a few moments of clarity. She seemed so lost, but I crouched down and her eye caught mine. She reached out around my neck and pulled me close. She mumbled some words and chuckled a bit, but her tone of voice felt like goodbye. She just couldn't gather the words to say it. Grandpa shared some of his cherished memories of her and his desire to be with her again someday, just as they were in the prime of their life. I left the nursing home with Grandpa shuffling beside me and I knew that this could very well be the last time I would see Grandma.
I have so many wonderful memories of my Grandma. The sleepovers, the family Christmas parties, browsing her bookshelves. She loved to garden and clean, and make things beautiful in her own way. She put lace and ruffles on everything. She loved to wear big hoop earrings and colorful bangles around her wrists. I remember the way she would slap her face with lotions before getting ready for bed to keep herself young. She loved words and reading and she would often be curled up on the couch reading or doing a crossword puzzle. She liked the ones from the "Star Magazine" and the National Enquirer." She said they had the best crosswords, but we knew why she really liked them. She loved little children. My grandma made you feel good about yourself no matter what. You are always the best, smartest, funniest, kindest, and the most good-looking of anyone. She would put her arm around us grandchildren, give us a squeeze, and exclaim something like, "You are just so good looking," and then quickly add, "Well, we don't do ugly!" And we believed it.
Grandma was always positive. It radiated from her. She loved to laugh and never took herself too seriously. Her laugh was the last thing that she held onto in her illness. She wouldn't be able to understand one thing that was going on around her, but you could get her laughing. I have learned so much from my beautiful Grandma. I am so glad to have so many memories of her. She has helped me to have confidence in myself and to laugh when you just don't know what else to do.
